Me, Museum

My mother found a rabid dog
我的母親無意間發現一隻愈乎癲狂的孤犬
And wanted to hug it
母親想要真心地給它一個溫暖的擁抱
Wanted to give it all her glorious honey love
想要把她身上所有純粹甜美的愛傾注給它
Wanted to bathe her children in a two-parent household
想要給它找到另一半為生育的孩子洗浴
But, the dog didn't want kids
但是它卻對擁有孩子失去了興趣
The dog would scream it in the hallway at four A.M
凌晨四點它會蜷縮在走廊旁歇斯底里
Reminding us as often as possible
盡可能多地令我們警醒周遭
The sheer art of it
它多像一件純粹的藝術呀
How the monster could panic into my body
怎麼說這怪物也不會令我魂悸魄動吧
Sometimes I still hear it in the chambers of my heart
可有時它的哀嚎卻恰恰擊中了我的心窩
The way some glorious paintings stay with you
就像一幅驚世駭俗的名畫那般動人
I am a museum
我彷佛就是一座涵蓋萬千的博物館
I must be a museum
我一定是一座博物館
When I was seven, the dog told me I was going to be a slut
當我七歲時它和我說我將會成為與它無異的粗俗婦人
No one came over to our house to play
沒人會願意拜訪我和那隻失心的孤犬
The dog made me write, 'I will flush the bathroom toilet seventy- five times'
它叮囑我寫著“我會如期潔廁七十五次”（75代表勇敢並釋放對生活即將發生變化的所有恐懼）
I would've remembered to flush the toilet
我定會如期潔廁（把生活的重重壓迫洗刷而走）
But, I started blacking out around then
不久後我開始被生活的恐懼重重包裹直到壓抑喘吁
Forgetting basic things
喪失了生活最為平常的能力
Started praying that Oprah would save us all
靠著祈禱Oprah保全你我
I took snapshots with my memory camera
用著記憶留影機攝下這一幕幕快閃
Hoping there would be justice for this kind of psycho warfare
希冀著這場心里拉鋸戰可以公平以待
The teachers at the daycare offered apology eyes and extra sequins
托兒所老師們愛莫能助只有歉意的眼神和用處微薄的亮片
For the art project
給我來應付這場藝術項目
The day after, the dog chased me aroundeach room
第二天它追著我從一間房裡到另一間房裡
Because I forgot where my other shoe was
因為我失去了防止另一隻鞋子丟失的警惕心理
When you are a child
當你還是一個孩童時
And your mind is panicked like a fire alarm at all times
腦海裡終日充斥如火警響鈴般的驚恐時
You lose the ability to remember simple things
你把記住簡易事物的能力給丟失了
I haven't lost a personal item in months
我己經多月把自己的個人物品握的嚴嚴實實
Do not laugh when I say, 'This is a victory'
當我說“這是一場胜利”時你別急著嗤笑
Shame is an ocean I swim across
羞辱本該就是一片我擊水而過的重重大洋
Sometimes, I call it drowning
有時我叫這片苦海是淹溺
Sometimes, I call it Moses
有時我叫這片苦海是摩西
Sometimes, I say, 'Good morning!' and sway to its murky surge
有時我會站在這片苦海的浪潮裡說著“早安”
Sometimes, I win and cut off its crest with a pink machete
有時我取得小胜時會去用粉色大刀阻斷苦海的源頭
Sometimes, I want to **** it and
有時我想把這大洋翻滾攪拌
Marry it and kill it all at the same time
然後誘騙迎娶它同時將此暗殺
Sometimes, I spend my whole day apologizing on shame's behalf
有時我會花費一天光陰去為羞辱道歉
Sometimes, I think it must be an art form to feel this bad
有時我想這片苦海一定是一件糟透的藝術品
Sometimes, I outrun all of its psycho history
有時我超越這片苦海影響我內心的歷史範圍
Other times, I repeat the language from my childmouth
其他時候我重複著孩童時掛在嘴邊的話語
While beating my head against a wall
同時一頭撞向牆壁
But all the time I am forgiven
可我一直在被寬恕