Today I Met Myself

I get the petrol dont forget to buy a couple of sweets
Sometimes
I like to treat myself if only once a week
Open the door, get in the car, sit in the drivers seat
Peer into the rearview mirror and
Im staring back at me
When I say me
I dont mean me as in my own reflection
Hardly slept so
I suspect
Im staring at some weird projection
My brain has made to tell me alcohol abuse is wrong
Whereupon,
I turn around and realise somethings going on:
Trust me son, this aint a con, you have to trust your eyeballs
Know those eyes are fine because theyre mine so dont be stifled
Youre slightly balder now and yes your pubes are turnin grey
But youve travelled back in time cause theres important shit to say
Dont do that (nope)
Theyll try to dupe ya
Dont do this (nah)
Theyll try to shoot ya
Dont do her (grim!)
She didnt suit ya
Today I met myself and
I told me bout my future
So Im sat in the front and sat in the back, as you do havin a chat
Asking bout the change in rap and where the musics at
Im careful not to tell myself entirely everything
Ive come here just to warn me as to what the future brings:
Oi, Listen,
El, surely you can see that youre me
Im you , look at the lips, you really cant ignore me
I know that in that bag theres ginger beer and curly-wurlys
Its kinda hurly burly but you must believe my story
I know you tasted glory, was all hunky dory,
Now youre standing on the borderline, todays the day your sure to find,
You dont know where to draw the line, this is the start of your decline
Thats why
I came back exactly 15 years before your sordid crime
Dont do that (nope)
Theyll try to dupe ya
Dont do this (nah)
Theyll try to shoot ya
Dont do her (grim!)
She didnt suit ya
Today I met myself and
I told me bout my future
Freakin out,
I been sneakin bout
Feelin edgy bout the fact that
Ive seeked me out
Im freakin out,
I been sneakin bout
And Ive sat inside my car and started speakin bout
Whats yet to come
It seems most of what the future has to hold for me is decent
But recently my future self was caught having a threesome
One of the girls was underage with fake identification
The other one was legal but her fathers occupation
Was head of a group of hoodlums from just south of the
Thames The entire episode was captured from a hidden lens
They found some substances inside the glove box of my car
So Im front page of the sun, the mirror and the daily star
Im either goin down for twenty or thugs are out to get me
My walls are bout to crumble which is why
I went and sent me
Back in time, prevent the crime, avoid
Jane and Amy
It seems my future selfs a prick but really who can blame me
Dont do that (nope)
Theyll try todupe ya
Dont do this (nah)
Theyll try to shoot ya
Dont do her (grim!)
She didnt suit ya
Today I met myself and
I told me bout my future