The Ad-dressing Of Cats (From The Motion Picture Soundtrack "Cats")

Youve heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that:
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
Youve learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
Youve seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you address a cat?
So first, your memory Ill jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
So first, your memory Ill jog
And say: a cat is not a dog
With cats, some say one rule is true
Dont speak til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say, you should address a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity
You bow, and taking off your hat, address him in this form:
'Oh, Cat'
'Oh, Cat'
Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
Oh, you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Strasbourg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
Hes sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name
A cats entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this, and that is that
And thats how you address a cat