A Dream

It was a very cold clear fall night
記得那是一個寒徹清朗的夜晚，
I had a terrible dream
我做了個糟糕透頂的夢。
Billy Name and Brigid were playing under my stair case
當時比利·內姆和布里吉德還在樓下嬉鬧，
on the second floor about two oclock in the morning
就在二樓。那時已經凌晨兩點了。

我是被狗叫吵醒的，
I woke up
阿莫斯和阿奇突然開始發了瘋似的狂吠。
because Amos and Archie had started barking
我被這陣噪音惹惱了。
That made me very angry
因為我已經跟他們幾個說過了，我那天感覺糟透了。
because I wasnt feeling well and I told them
我當時神誌不清，幾乎要越過現實與夢境的界限。
I was very cross the real me
我希望那些傢伙最好還記得，
that they just better remember
薩姆——那隻生性頑劣的貓，
what happened to Sam the bad cat
是怎樣被孤零零地鎖在家，最終染上惡疾去見了上帝那個糟老頭子的。
that was left at home and got sick and went ***** heaven
那是個異常蕭瑟冷冽的秋日的夜晚，

雪花一片片狂舞般地下墜。
It was a very cold clear fall night
上帝啊！那多麼美啊！
Some snowflakes were falling
於是我就回屋拿來我的相機，拍了些照片。
Gee, it was so beautiful
我不停地拍，
and so I went to get my camera to take some pictures
但我突然發現這些膠卷的曝光好像出了點問題。
And then I was taking the pictures
我打算去找弗萊迪和加里幫忙，
but the exposure thing wasnt right
來看看究竟是哪兒出了毛病。
and I was going to call Fred or Gerry
可是太遲了，
to find out how to get set it
在我印象裡他們這時應該還在吃晚餐呢。
I was too late
唉，去他媽的，
and then I remembered they were still probably at dinner
現在我整個人都被一些胡亂的思緒纏繞，我不想和任何人交流。
and anyway
但是這些雪花還是那麼美，它們讓我感到我還真實地活著。
I felt really bad and didnt want to talk to anybody
我正竭盡全力讓它們在我手中停留，
but the snowflakes were so beautiful and real looking
就在這時——那些怪聲出現了。
and I really wanted to hold them
它們從廳堂靠近樓梯的那塊陰暗處發出。
And thats when I heard the voices
所以我拿了個手電筒，
from down the hall near the stairs
戰戰兢兢地靠近了那個角落。
So I got a flashlight
最近這塊街區
and I was scared and I went out into the hallway
老是出些怪事，
Theres been all kinds of troubles
但是人們的日常生活還是得繼續啊......總而言之，
lately in the neighborhood
布里吉德和比利還在玩兒呢。
and someones got to bring home the bacon and anyway
在樓下
there were Brigid and Billy playing
有一座和23號街公園相似的公園。

年輕人都喜歡去那兒玩飛碟。
And under the stair case
上帝啊，那一定很有趣，
was a little meadow sort of like the park at 23rd street
我們簡直應該寫一篇報導刊在雜誌上！
where all the young kids go and play frisbee
但那些人應該只會把我當成蠢貨吧，畢竟你知道，這種與性和緋聞無關的報刊是賣不出去的。
Gee, that must be fun
不過還是讓我固執己見一回吧，
maybe we should do an article on that in the magazine
你懂吧這他媽可是我辦的雜誌不是嗎？
but theyll just tell me Im stupid and it wont sell
剛剛那些屁話就是這些美麗雪花落下時我所想的。
but Ill just hold my ground this time, I mean
我能聽見雪花碰撞，黏著，最終掉落在地上的聲音。這還真是有趣。
its my magazine, isnt it?
天哪，我太享受現在的時光了！

於是我想把比利也叫來，
So I was thinking that as the snowflakes fell
但是天知道他是沒聽見還是他他媽的根本就不想回答，
and I heard those voices having so much fun
太怪異了......
Gee, it would be so great to have some fun
因為，
So I called Billy
雖然我從不享受重逢的快樂，但我一直都很喜歡比利。
but either he didnt hear me or he didnt want to answer
我為他堅持工作感到欣慰。
which was so strange
和奧丁那小子不同，
because
這小子總喜歡在旅途中蹭我們的電影看
even if I dont like reunions Ive always loved Billy
還從來不付錢！
Im so glad hes working
我想說的是——那些電影都被反反复复看到影像都磨損了，
I mean its different than Ondine
好吧我的意思是......他沒了藥以後也沒啥特別的。
He keeps touring with those movies
我只是不太明白他為什麼會那個樣子。
and he doesnt even pay us and the film
在我的腦子被那幾個小子攪得正亂的時候我看見了約翰凱爾，
I mean the films just going to disintegrate and then what
他看起來過得還挺好的。
I mean hes so normal off of drugs
他走過辦公室，打算和我一起鍛煉一會兒。
I just dont get it
羅尼說過我有點健壯，

但是自從他去過AA了以後就變得非常刻薄。
And then I saw John Cale
這他媽是啥意思呢?
hes been looking really great
既然你酒都戒了你咋還能嘴賤得跟個醉鬼一樣？
Hes been coming by the office to exercise with me
他斷言我就是個懶漢但我他 媽才不是！
Ronnie said I have a muscle
我只是，你懂嗎？失去了創造生活的靈感！
but hes been really mean since he went to AA
我的意思是我根本就不是那樣的人。
I mean what does it mean
算了還是面對現實吧，
when you give up drinking and then youre still so mean
老老實實回到辦公桌前去尋找那根本不存在的靈感吧......
He says Im being lazy but Im not
我瞅著約翰，他總是讓我想起地下絲絨。
Im just cant find any ideas
然後接下來我的腦子裡就一直塞滿了那些陳年舊事？ ！
I mean Im just not
當我走到聖馬可廣場，
lets face it
我去了那家由幾個年輕人經營的雜貨店。
going to get any ideas up at the office
但在那我總是忍不住去想：我已經不再年輕了。

然而這時我看到了老多姆，
And seeing John made me think of the Velvets
我年輕時在那兒有了第一次樂隊表演。
and I had been thinking about them
那段記憶真是美好。年輕真好，對吧？
when I was on St. Marks Place
其實我也不明白地下絲絨的第一張專輯究竟想表達些什麼，
going to that new gallery those sweet new kids have opened
即使我就是主唱本人
but the thought I was old
以及它的製作人。
and then I saw the old DOM
我這些年甚至常常操刀重製
the old club where we did our first shows
還從沒想過從這裡面賺一分錢！
It was so great
這我都是怎麼做到的？ ！
And I dont understand about that Velvets first album
我應該打電話問問亨利，
I mean I did the cover
不過話說回來能看到約翰也不錯。
I was the producer
為他我又重製了一遍。
and I always see it repackaged
不過我還是秉持著我以往的極端作風，而他把它改得花哨了些。
and Ive never gotten a penny from it
其實要是他能由著我來效果應該會更好。
How could that be
但你絕對無法跟任何人講明白的是，
I should call Henry
我發現無論我怎麼用電話去聯繫比利和約翰
but it was good seeing John
他們都無法認出那是我，好像我就從未出現過一樣。
I did a cover for him
為什麼他們就從來都只會阻攔我呢？
but I did in black and white and he change it to color
這時我看到了Lou Reed，
It would have been worth more if hed left it my way
我真的生他的氣。
but you can never tell any body anything Ive leaned that
他結婚的時候竟然沒有邀請我！

他可能覺得我一定會帶來一大幫子人吧。
I tried calling again to Billy and John
我不太明白。
they wouldnt recognize me it was like I wasnt there
起碼他得把他該做的給做好吧。
Why wont they let me in
他那婚禮辦得是不錯，

但他為什麼就是不叫我來呢？
And then I saw Lou
我看到他上MTV表演了，
Im so mad at him
他一直站在舞台側面，那種最不引人注目的位置。
Lou Reed got married and didnt invite me
這也讓我搞不明白。
I mean is it because he thought Id bring too many people
你知道的我討厭Lou Reed，
I dont get it
真的非常討厭。
could have at least called
他甚至都不願意讓我沾染一點他的錄音工作。
I mean hes doing so great
但我還是為他驕傲。
Why doesnt he call me?
我今天被嚇壞了。
I saw him at the MTV show
鮮血就那樣慢慢滲透我的襯衫，
and he was one row away and he didnt even say hello
從我年少時重了子兒的傷口裡涓涓地流出來。
I dont get it
我穿的用來箍緊內臟的束腹勒得我生疼。
You know I hate Lou
我試著做了四十五個俯臥撑
I really do
和四十個仰臥起坐，
He wont even hire us for his videos
但我的傷口還是隱隱作痛。
And I was proud of him
我看到我衣服上的血跡逐漸染成大片鮮紅，

我清晰地記得醫生告訴我，我沒救了。我要死了。
I was so scared today
沒過多久醫護人員就開始清洗我手上的血漬了，
There was blood leaking thought my shirt
因為我的血液正從我的靜脈裡噴湧出來。
from those old scars from being shot
就這麼一小會兒，
And the corset I wear to keep my insides in was hurting
我已經感覺到這些無用的想法正在把我變成一個怨婦，
And I did three sets of fifteen pushups
而且既然所有人都已經對我束手無策了，
and four sets of ten setups
我自己又始終不被大家接納，
But then my insides hurt
那我就再做一個，
and I saw drops of blood on my shirt and I remember
一個又一個
the doctors saying I was dead
嶄新的夢。
And then later they had to take blood out of my hand
上帝啊，要是我能在這個夢境裡死掉那該有多有趣啊。
couse they ran out or veins
在我開啟下一個夢境之前，死徹底。
but then
在有人開始無休止的煩我之前，死徹底。
all this thinking was making me an old grouch
在我的屍體被人找到之前，死徹底。
and you cant do anything anyway so
if they wouldnt let me play with them in my own dream
I was just going to have to make another
and another
and another
Gee, wouldnt it be funny if I died in this dream
before I could make another one up

And nobody called

And nobody came