PTSD

Used to bend for me like the steel of a hatchback
You was there for Q like a fourth grade class fact
Q was in for me, never needed to ask that
PTSD, now Im having a flashback
Told me Im sweet, cant sleep in the trap trap
Enemy, envy, make the strap go brrat brrat
You the missing piece, no peace when I sleep now
Used to practice peace, finna sleep with the piece now
Know Ima miss you long as Im alive
You said you either gon get rich or die tryin
I wish I didnt have a song to write
I know youd probably rather me keep it light
My mama told me faith is all that I need
And back in the day I wouldve agreed, but now its hard to believe
I still do, not cause I want, cause I need to
Believe in something greater than me without being able to see it
So **** a watch, I wear my heart on my sleeve
Nobody knows my sorrow, nobody knows about the trouble I seen
A lot of dead niggas livin through me, shawty, but not in the literal
Most em dead cause they aint follow they dream
The power of a higher entity entered me
Mentally, physically, spiritually, Im on a whole different energy
**** the world, but I need you to remember me
I had doubt in myself cause I used to fear that you would look at me differently
If I ever changed, Im numb to it now, I dont feel the same
A slave to the feeling, Im breaking the chains
Tryna balance out the joy, the pain, the sun, the rain
My life and the fame, done lost the game
The guilt, the shame, my skin, my veins
My soul done rained so much on my heart
Really I dont know where to start
The irony of finding self in the dark
My nigga, truthfully, feel like its two of me, I shouldve been on that ark
A love-hate relationship with my thoughts, Im tryna shine in my own light
The realest nigga left in my own right
Helping you with your vices but cant seem to get a grip on my own life, yeah
I was on my way down, breakdowns, breakthroughs
Bitter bout my debut, gotta say I stayed true
Maybe why I stayed broke, I been on a goose chase
Gotta swallow pride when they see me, how the truth taste?
Off the beaten path like Blueface
On the North Side, had to be a Tuesday
Walkin slow with your kids on a school day
Way past midnight suddenly my mood change
Thats when the truth came, in New York hearing rumors
My sister was homeless, dont visit her often
Been years since we talked, number changed
Saw you and my heart broke in a couple ways
I cant believe when I seen you, I knew shit was true
Stared in your eyes and I saw a different you
Skated off fast fore I could address it
Hope I run into you fore we both get to Heaven
We ight, we ight
You opened up my eyes and helped me see the light
We ight, we ight
You opened up my eyes and helped me see the light, ayy
Yeah, hahahaha
We just kickin it, you know, ayy, woah
Im here with all my friends
This is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what? What?
And the hoes
Hahahaha, yeah
Said this is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what?
And the hoes
Cant forget about the hoes, yeah
For the homies, for the homies, for the homies, what? What?
And the hoes
(Ayy, that shit sound tight)
This is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what? What?
And the hoes
Hahahaha, yeah
Said this is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what?
And the hoes
Cant forget about the hoes, yeah
For the homies, for the homies, for the homies, what? What?
And the hoes