Parents Just Don't Understand

You know parents are the same no matter time nor place
They dont understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
So to you all the kids all across the land
Theres no need to argue parents just dont understand

I remember one year
My mom took me school shopping
It was me my brother my mom oh my pop and my little sister
All hopped in the car
We headed downtown to the Gallery Mall

MY mom started bugging with the clothes she chose
I didnt say nothing at first
I just turned up my nose
She said 'Whats wrong This shirt cost $20'
I said 'Mom this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar '
The next half hour was the same old thing
My mother buying me clothes from 1963
And then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
I asked her for Adidas and she bought me Zips
I said 'Mom what are you doing youre ruining my rep'
She said 'Youre only sixteen you dont have a rep yet'
I said 'Mom lets put these clothes back please'
She said 'no you go to school to learn not for a fashion show'
I said 'This isnt Sha Na Na come on Mom Im not Bowzer
Mom please put back the bell-bottom Brady Bunch trousers
But if you dont want to I can live with that but
You gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks'

She wasnt moved - everything stayed the same
Inevitably the first day of school came

I thought I could get over I tried to play sick
But my mom said 'No no way uh-uh forget it'
There wasnothing I could do I tried to relax
I got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
And when I walked into school it was just as I thought
The kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes Mom bought
And those who werent laughing still had a ball
Because they were pointing and whispering
As I walked down the hall
I got home and told my Mom how my day went
She said 'If they were laughing you dont need them
Cause theyre not good friends'
For the next six hours I tried to explain to my Mom
That I was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
So to you all the kids all across the land
Theres no need to argue
Parents just dont understand

Oh-kay heres the situation
My parents went away on a weeks vacation and
They left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Would they mind
Umm well of course not
Ill just take it for a little spin
And maybe show it off to a couple of friends

Ill just cruise it around the neighborhood

Well maybe I shouldnt
Yeah of course I should
Pay attention heres the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
Thats when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking

You shouldve seen this girls bodily dimensions
I honked my horn just to get her attention
She said 'Was that for me '
I said 'Yeah'
She said 'Why '
I said 'Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy '

She said 'How do I know youre not sick
You could be some deranged lunatic'
I said 'Cmon toots my name is the Prince
Beside would a lunatic have a Porsche like this '
She agreed and we were on our way
She was looking very good and so was I I must say - word
We hit McDonalds pulled into the drive
We ordered two Big Macs and two large fries with Cokes
She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She said 'Drive fast speed turns me on'
She put her hand on my knee I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash I took off so fast
The sun roof was open the music was high
And this girls hand was steadily moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess thats why I didnt notice that police car
Were doing ninety in my Moms new Porsche
And to make this long story short - short
When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
I said 'I dont have a license but I drive very well officer'
I almost had a heart attack that day
Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
I was arrested the car was impounded
There was no way for me to avoid being grounded
My parents had to come off from vacation to get me
Id rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
My parents walked in
I got my grip I said 'Ah Mom Dad how was your trip '

They didnt speak - I said 'I want to plead my case'
But my father just shoved me in the car by my face
That was a hard ride home I dont know how I survived
They took turns - one would beat me while the other was driving
I cant believe it I just made a mistake
Well parents are the same no matter time nor place
So to you all the kids all across the land
Take it from me parents just dont understand