selfish (i wished you hated me)

[Verse 1]
Drown me in despair
Im broken, way beyond repair
From sulking, over the times that wed never get back
Drunk every night, with cigarette pack
But its only fair that Im broken, way beyond repair
I know that its all my fault Im guilty as charged
Id end it all but thats not what youd want
So its hard to bear, cause I know you still care
[Chorus]
But I wished you hated me
As much as you tried to
But youd never hated me
As much as I do
And my only fear for when Im no longer here
Is that youll find someone else who deserved all your tears
I know that sounds selfish, but I just cant help it
[Verse2]
Ive been well prepared
To go now, Ill be somewhere
You know how I tend to leave all the ones that I love
Just to pretend like I wont give a ****
To see what weve build become a ghost town
Swallowed by guilt; like my pills, Ive broken down
Every night I go through withdrawals
But its only right for all of my wrongs
Id be easier to bear, if you never cared
[ Chorus]
But I wished you hated me
As much as you tried to
But youd never hated me
As much as I do
And my only fear for when Im no longer here
Is that youll find someone else who deserved all your tears
I know that sounds selfish, but I just cant help it