Frayed Tape

It's been a hell of a year between me and my fears
Between plans for the future and all my passin' ideas
I thought I'd figure it out just by walking around
Just by talking to friends but I'm bringing 'em down
Every night is the same when you're wishing for rain
In a place that stays sunny almost every day
Maybe it's not enough just to keep waking up
Waiting on somebody to call your bluff
And I don't blame her for leaving, you know we all got our reasons
And I was all that she wanted but not at all what she needed
I'll probably meet someone new, it's what I know how to do
Cause I'm lonely as hell and don't need an excuse
To give someone it all, sit and wait for the call
That they had a good time but I'm not the default
And it's better than nothing I guess nobody's above it
And I'm just trying to forget whatever I learned that love is
And I wanna get better but it's hard sometimes
When you're feeling feeble in the prime of your life
Too scared to settle, too scared to try
Stuck to the frayed tape at the edge of your mind
I think I got it all wrong, it was us all along
Spent my first 20 years trying not to belong
But now I wanna see people talk about what they're reading
Sit and listen to stories and hear the problems they deal with
And I'm sick of attention, I guess I'm learning my lesson
That lovin' isn't the same as just making impressions
I don't how to ask for the things that I had
When I didn't know I had 'em in the palm of my hand
I get sick of the sky, the way it's empty at night
SoI fill it with color and all these cheap little lights
This city's not bad it's just starting to sag
From the weight of our dreams and our plans of attack
Cause the crowd's almost gone and by the end of the song
They'll be going back home to the place they belong
So I'm leaving tomorrow hitching a ride on Apollo
Going up to the stars and I'm hopin' they follow
And I wanna get better but it's hard sometimes
When you're feeling feeble in the prime of your life
Too scared to settle, too scared to try
Stuck to the frayed tape at the edge of your mind