Gaston (From "High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (Season 2)"Beauty and the Beast)

Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy hered love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
Theres no man in town as admired as you
Youre everyones favorite guy
Everyones awed and inspired by you
And its not very hard to see why
No ones slick as Gaston
No ones quick as Gaston
No ones necks as incredibly thick as Gaston
For theres no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
And theyll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
[ENSEMBLE]
No ones been like Gaston
A kingpin like Gaston
[BIG RED]
No ones got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
[E.J.]
As a specimen, yes, Im intimidating
[ENSEMBLE]
My, what a guy, that Gaston
[E.J.]
When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that Im grown, I eat five dozen eggs
So Im roughly the size of a barge
[ENSEMBLE]
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
[BIG RED]
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
[E.J.]
I use antlers in all of my decorating
[ENSEMBLE]
Say it again
Gaston