Therapy Session

Yeah, I gotta say like a month ago
我不得不说大概在一个月前的时候
I was talking to fans
当时我在和歌迷们说话
And one of 'em pulled me aside and said
其中一位粉丝把我支开到一边然后对我说
"We never met, but I swear that you know who I am
“虽然我们没见过面，但是我肯定你认得我”
I've been through a lot
“我经历了很多事情”
I don't know how to express it to people
“我不知道如何将感受表达给其他人听”
Don't think that I can, but I got that Mansion CD on rotation
“别觉得我能办到，可我循环了那张Mansion专辑好多遍”
That's real for me Nate, you do not understand"
“Nate，这是我真实的样子，你不明白”
It's crazy for me
我感觉不可理喻
Kids hit me up, say they slittin' they wrists on the daily
因为有孩子给我打电话说他们每天都在割腕自残
This music is more than you think
我这音乐没有你想的这么浅显
Don't book me for just entertainment, it's entertaining
别以为我唱歌只是为了喧哗取众，这真太令人费解
Hearin' these parents, they telling their kids my music is violent— you gotta be kidding me
听到这些家长们说，他们告诉孩子们说我的音乐有暴力倾向——你一定是在拿我开玩笑
I guess that your definition of violence and mine is something that we look at differently
我猜暴力这两个字的定义在你们和我之间实在差了天壤之别
How do you picture me, huh?
你是怎么形容我的呢？
You want me to smile, you want me to laugh?
你想要我微笑，要我咧开双嘴？
You want me to walk on the stage with a smile on my face
你想让我走在舞台上时挂着一张虚伪的笑脸
When I'm mad and put on a mask, for real though
愤怒时戴上伪装的面具，但是说真的一句
I mean, what you expect from me?
我的意思是，你想让我怎样？
I'm tryna do this respectfully
我已经尝试表现地恭恭敬敬
They say that "life is a race"
他们说“生活是一场赛跑”
I knew my problems'll prolly' catch up eventually
我知道我的问题到最后有可能会缠上自己
I do my best to be calm
我有尽力让自己冷静
How you gon' write me and tell me you'd slaughter my family?
你怎么能给我留评论威胁说要杀害我的家人？
That's just a glimpse to the stuff that get's sent to me
那样的东西让我看一眼就觉得很不好受
These are the parts of my life they don’t ever see, woo!
这些都是我生活中的困扰，他们根本看不到！
I am aware it's aggressive
我明白我的歌有点激进
I am not here for acceptance
我来这不是为了得到认可
I don't know what you expect here
我不知道你对我还有什么要求
But, what you expect when you walk in a therapy session
可当你处于治疗精神创伤的时期你还能奢望什么？
Huh?
Therapy, therapy session
治疗期，精神康复时期
Therapy, therapy session
治疗期，精神康复时期

这个女孩在我演出的时候正视我的脸
This girl at the show looked me in the face
然后告诉我说她生活有太大落差
And told me her life's full of drama
说她的爸爸虐待成瘾
Said her dad is abusive
很明显他会常对她妈妈拳腿交加
Apparently he likes to beat on her mama
我心里非常愤怒
I got so angry inside
我想叫她给我她爸爸的电话号码
I wanted to tell her to give me his number
可是你又要怎么做呢？
But what you gon' do with it right?
你要打电话过去，然后等他对她妈妈更肆无忌惮？
You gon' hit him up, then he'll start hittin' her harder?
这都是真的
That's real
这些孩子，他们来到我演唱会
These kids, they come to my shows
眼里含着泪水
With tears in they eyes
想象一下有某个人看着你，然后跟你说你的音乐是他们赖以为生的动力
Imagine someone looking at you, and sayin' your music's the reason that they are alive
有的时候，我不知该如何去应付
Sometimes, I don't know how to handle it
我这样的生活并非美满
This type of life isn't glamorous
也不像是在镜头前演戏
This ain't an act for the cameras
你只看到我走在舞台上光鲜的样子，但是从来不知道我面对的问题
You see me walk on these stages, but have no idea what I'm dealing with after it, nah!
我将这一切都摊开
I put it all in the open
这是我解决自己所有情绪的方式
This is the way that I cope with all my emotion
我在和成千上万的人们一起合影
I'm taking pictures with thousands of people
可说实话，我感到根本没人懂我！
But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me!
我还尝试着去面对自己的抑郁
I'm trying to deal with depression
我还尝试着去应付沉重的压力
I'm trying to deal with the pressure
你怎么能在这些被我影响过的一大群人面前
How you gon' tell me my music does not have a message?
告诉我说我的音乐没有传递任何有意义的信息？
When I'm looking out at this crowd full of people I know I affected, ah!
我一生中有太多的过去
I got some things in my life
我知道我该把它们释怀
I know I should let 'em go
让我把它记下
Let me jot it down
让我记在心里面就好
Let me take a mental note
我将它从这麦克风里唱出来
I put it all in this microphone
——稍微思考一下
—Think about that for a minute
唱这首歌有什么意义？我只是在宣泄罢了
What is the point of this song? I'm just venting
可当你处于治疗精神创伤的时期你还能奢望什么？
But what'd you expect from a therapy session?
Huh?
治疗期，精神康复时期
Therapy, therapy session
治疗期，精神康复时期
Therapy, therapy session
你对我的各种想法

——我并会不在意
What you think about me
我知道自己处理问题的方式是不太妥当
—That doesn't worry me
我明白自己需要变得更加成熟一些
I know I handle some things immaturely
我不会大摇大摆走过这些舞台，在这些听众面前
I know that I need to grow in maturity
装得好像我的人生没有任何瑕疵
I ain't gon' walk on these stages, in front of these people
这对我来说没有必要
And act like I live my life perfectly
基督徒三个字可不是对完美这个词的定义
That doesn't work for me
我不是那种保持沉默的人
Christian is not the definition of what perfect means
我不会静坐在这里一语不发
I ain't the type to be quiet
要是我没有当着你的面说难听的话
I ain't gon' sit here in silence
那我敢保证，我也不会在私底下说三道四
If I wouldn't say what I say to your face
我没有在说谎
Then I promise you, I wouldn't say it in private
人们在我主页上的评论论长论短，我试着不去回复
I am not lyin'
但是这真的太荒唐了
People go off on my page and I'm tryin' to quit the replying
我是个多情善感的人，我写的东西都是真实的感受
But this is ridiculous
你想让我保持态度真挚？
I'm passionate man, I really mean what I'm writing
好，我就如你所愿
You want me to keep it a hundred?
我看到社会上有很多流言蜚语
Okay, I'll keep it a hundred
说实在的，我对公然的传言都视而不见
I see a whole lot of talkin' on socials
我就喜欢这样
But honestly, I don't see nothing in public
“为什么你不写一点欢快点的说唱呢？
I kinda love it, yeah
那样肯定会很不错的”
"Why don't you write us some happy raps?
“Nate，你所有的音乐太忧郁阴暗了”
That would be awesome"
——别再把我逼下去
"All of your music is moody and dark, Nate"
你想知道见到我真人的样子是什么样的吗
—Don't get me started
听好我说的话
You wanna know what it's like if you met me in person?
这音乐不只为了给那些坐在教堂长椅上祈祷的人听
Listen to my verses
我不反对这些评价
This music is not just for people who sit in the pews and pray at the churches, nah
我不期望能得到每个人的尊敬
I won't reject it
我也不指望你会懂我对音乐的理念
I don't expect everyone to respect it
可当你处于治疗精神创伤的时期你还能奢望什么？
I don't expect you to get my perspective
But, what'd you expect from a therapy session?
我的意思是，我觉得有时候很多人——他们不理解我在做的事
Huh?
我为了生活创作，我写了自己现实里真正在面对的东西

那些，我曾经亲身经历过的事情
I mean, I think sometimes people—they confuse what I'm doing
这于我而言真实无比
I write about life, I write about things that I'm actually dealing with
就好像，这样做也能很好地帮助到我自己
Something, that I'm actually experiencing
我不会费解去想是谁给了我这才能
This is real for me
是上帝给了我这个天赋，祂赐予我这能力来面对这些困境
Like, this is something that personally helps me as well
祂也给了我这禀赋作为情感窗口
I'm not confused about who gave me the gift
这就是音乐对我的意义
God gave me the gift and he gave me the ability to, to do this
当我感到有些情绪，不管是愤怒
And he also gave me this as an outlet
还是对某些东西的热情或说是沮丧的时候
And that's what music is for me
这就是我的方向
When I feel something, whether it's anger
这就是我NF个人所谓对音乐真正的态度
Um, it's a passion about something, or frustration
这是真正的事物，我需要这样
Like this is where I go
这是我的一种治疗方式
This is, this is—that's the whole "NFrealmusic" thing man
This is real for me, I need this
This is a therapy for me