blood stains

Where the **** were you?
When I was digging holes into my skin
Where the **** were you?
When I was scrubbing blood out of my blade and sheets
And who the **** am I?
To think that anyone could ever love a soul like mine
I'm ******* tired
I'm ******* tired of this isolation, no constellation
I can't even find peace in sleep
With blankets wrapped around my neck to see if I still bleed
I used to feel so safe underneath the stars at night
But now the night runs every surface standing in my mind